Confession of a lazy soul.

Caution: Highly Exaggerated Content!


I am so fed up with myself. My laziness weighs 38 tonnes. Still without any mercy I am supposed to stand up and do something. The world should rather leave me alone and let me be proud of my laziness.

Why do I have to eat everyday? This is a clear conspiracy against me. With stomach so small I cannot eat like a whale. If I get a chance to redesign human bodies, I will make 4 stomachs by doing away with liver, pancreas and intestine. Also lungs and heart if the need arises. Then everyone will eat once on the International eating day and enjoy the rest of the year.

The second biggest life threatening issue - Sleeping. I sleep one night and wake up the next year. Before I wake up I switch on my computer. In morning I sometimes find my arms paralyzed(I always wonder how only my shoulders get crushed during the night). So I think I do not sleep, I faint.

By the time I am done with dragging myself out of the bed, it is already too late for breakfast. I have my breakfast when my sister has her lunch. Despite all, I do eat. Although at odd times and in hugely varying quantities. Then why is it so difficult to gain weight? I even followed the 'banana-with-milk' schedule for a week at a stretch, but weighing machines have a problem with me. It would be wonderful to become an extra Kg heavy by breathing in more air, as I breathe 1025 times in a minute(the norm is 12-18).

Now I am myopic when already nothing was going right. That too when I take great care of my eyes, except for staring at the computer screen for hours, reading novels without ever blinking while lying on my bed, texting on cellphone at nights until I blackout, writing while keeping the notebook at a full distance of 2 centimeters......you got it.

People with similar problems should feel free to contact.....a psychologist. I have bigger problems to deal with, like for example my Mom doesn't let me go near a snake(whenever one is seen around my house) to take a snap. As if snakes bite!