Showing posts with label Random Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random Thoughts. Show all posts

Thursday, 15 April 2021

Mango's Side of The Story

 


Has it ever occurred to you, that while you have been eating a Mango, in the very monstrous way that you always do, in what dreadful anticipation will the next mango be lying on the plate? Through his eyes, you appear no less than an Ogre, eagerly biting into the pulp again with the half chewed last chunk of pulp still in your mouth. And he, never understanding the reason for such urgency, only hopes that when it is his turn, maybe you will be satiated enough to calm down a little.

For all you know, the next Mango, let’s name him Mangu, might be a sibling of the one you are eating (possibly Mangum). Or a friend with whom he had made fun of Mangi, who was attached to the branch just below theirs and looked really deformed. Maybe ending up in your hands had been God’s way of punishing them for bothering Mangi. If this could be the reality, he shivers thinking of the fate of Manghast and Mangsaw, who made every Mango’s life difficult on the opposite side of their tree. The tree had admitted that never in his life so far he had borne hooligans like them, and made sure that they ripe before everybody else to get rid of them.

Mangu is drawn out of his chain of thought at the loud wet noise you made while slurping the trails of juice running down your arms, starting right at the elbow and ending at your wrist. For a split second he catches you looking at him with a hideous smile and he instantly understands that he had been chosen to be eaten later of the two because the Ogre liked him more. He recollects how you had sniffed at both of them turn by turn, twice, and weighed them both in your hands before making a decision. The decision to eat the better one later.

Death had never bothered Mangu. But from the beginning itself, as he listened to stories of humans from his elders on the tree, he always wondered what way of termination awaits him. He and his friends, at the eerie hours of night, exchanged horror stories mostly circulating around incidences of Mangoes being devoured to their last molecule in the dirtiest of ways. Most scandalous of them involved little human kids. He secretly prayed to God to not end up in a Kid’s hand. May he be eaten by a civilized human who will make perfectly equal slices of him, ensure least spillage of juice, lay them neatly in a plate and eat with their mouth closed.

And here he was, despite all his begging and prayers. With his friend stripped down to the seed now, he knows his time has come. He closes his eyes and dreams of running away, barely missing the grip of your hand and jumping into the plate of the most decent member of your family. One last time he prays “Agle Janam Mohe Strawberry hi Kijo”.


P.S: Whenever I eat a Mango, I ensure to administer anesthesia to it beforehand.

Saturday, 28 March 2020

FIVE CONTINENTS


I found a beautiful notebook in Flynn’s closet one day. I knew I should not open it before asking him, so I opened it. It was empty. Nothing triggers creativity better than a notebook with coffee coloured hardbound cover, empty off-white pages, mysteriously found lying in a forgotten mess of things, and absence of husband from the house. But then I remembered the collection of all the empty notebooks and diaries I have back at my other home. I might hurt their feelings if I ditch them for this new one. Also I must take permission from my Husband before owning his things.

When Flynn was back from the office, I asked him the question. He told me that the notebook was my gift to him. So I asked him if I can take back a book also that I gifted him. He said why not! He is neither into reading books nor fond of lucrative stationery. He must be clueless why he was gifted with these things in the first place.

Later in the night, in a dream, me and my sister were having a conversation on why did I stop writing? During the discussion one of us said the words “Five continents”. Both of us stopped suddenly and looked at each other having the same thing in mind.

“Five Continents.”

“Yes, Five Continents.”

“Didi, Why don’t you write something about Five Continents?” Said my sister.

“Exactly!”

My thoughts were already running too fast and within seconds I had so much to write about Five Continents that I feared forgetting some important points if I don’t write them down immediately.

“Isn’t it surprising that I never thought of writing about such an interesting topic before?” I wondered. “It has to go on my Blog, I promised myself.”

Usually I forget all my dreams these days. But something about the Five Continents followed me till the morning. I could not recollect a single important fact that I had promised myself to write, but a promise is a promise. So let us read an excerpt from the meeting of Continents.

Scene: Around the table for half yearly Board Meeting.

East America- “I have got a major issue to report. My brother West is missing. During my last communication with him, he was worried over some of his parts disappearing. And now he is all gone. He is not even hiding in his favourite spot Bermuda. Help me get my brother back. Please.”

Euroctic- “My God! I have a similar concern. My Aunt’s Mother’s Nephew’s Wife-in-law Aisica is also missing!”

Antralia- “Last week I got a call from my secret sources and they have confirmed the information that one of us is selling the continents to Goons of The Universe. With two of us already missing, we must find out who the traitor is before the same fate lies for us. If we don’t hurry up, this could be the end of world.”

Afractica: “Goons of the Universe! I have heard horrific stories of them.”

Arcope: “Guys stop! I am sorry. But nobody told me that we were not supposed to eat a continent when hungry.”



PS: Gift your husband anything that you want to buy for yourself but is unnecessary.

PPS: Take it back after a few months for the reason that he doesn’t want it.

Monday, 4 March 2019

RAISINS


Don’t tell me everyone knows that raisins are nothing but dried grapes.

Few days back me and my mother were in the kitchen and casually she mentioned that she saw raisins of black grapes in the nearby Mart. Usually I ignore things I don’t understand. But I accidentally paid attention to this sentence. Then my neurons worked fervently and decoded the series of puzzles that formed in my brain. Realization dawned upon me. Before I could hesitate to ask “Are raisins made from grapes?”
My mother felt a little ashamed of me I know. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know that.”
She couldn’t even make fun of me.

But my colleagues did. I had to confirm that I was not the only one to not know this. Turns out I was. My fellow ladies at the office asked me counter question to assess my IQ. They asked me about life cycle of all the dry fruits and other things. They were like “Do you have any idea what you have been eating all these years?” All I know is that it is food. Their surprise sounded more like “Do you even know the last name of your Best Friend?”

The incident was however unsettling to me. I invested a lot of time to get to the root of the problem. As a part of it, I conducted a survey, asking people if they know the original form of raisins? What was shocking to know was that my younger sister knew the answer. We have grown up in the same house. I have inhabited this universe three years more than her. Where was I when she was getting this piece of knowledge?

The best thing about your friends is that they get defensive for you even when you have already proven your stupidity. When I asked the question to my Best friend (About grapes, not her last name. Just for the record, I know her last name.) and told her what happened, she said “You should have asked me first and saved yourself the embarrassment”. Then she gave me ideas for taking revenge on my colleagues. “Ask them if Pineapple grows on trees?” “Ask them all the species of dinosaurs that existed. But only after learning them yourself first.”

Why is it that I never wondered where do raisins come from? Leave raisins, I never even wondered where do babies come from. Every person seems to have thought of it atleast once when they were kids. My four year old niece has already come up with her own theories about babies (people go to babies and ask them ‘Would you like to be our baby?’) And here I am. Raisins may be just one of the thousand things I never thought about. And I am sure if I had ever tried to think how raisins are made, it is such a simple deduction. The problem is I never thought.  Do I ever wonder about anything at all? Until I am confronted with such facts, for me, raisins just are. They exist. Babies are. Somehow. And everything answers itself automatically one day. And so I continue being awesome.

P.S.: I had grapes today.

Sunday, 12 November 2017

THE DOLPHIN THEORY

Once upon a time Dolphins ruled the world. This was long before the evolution of humans. Dolphins were the most intelligent animal. They had their own territories and knew many languages. They traveled across the water countries, went to Space for picnics, invented high tech automobiles, and studied the whole Universe. They were technologically so advanced that every manual work was replaced by gadgets. Moreover they got so ahead in Medical Science that when earlier they could cure all known and unknown diseases, later they found the formula of Immortality and stopped dying natural deaths. Overall, Dolphins were just so awesome at that time. But then the unexpected problems started, maybe because there has to be a way to cause deaths of Dolphins. So the Wars, Terrorism, Space accidents, and suicides because of love and breakups started.

Just in the middle of all this some Buddha Dolphins evolved. They had vision and they knew that the world is moving in the wrong direction. This technical advancement, Nuclear Weaponry, totally mind-blowing Space cars are all just a facade. The whole population has been disillusioned and has got their priorities in the wrong order. They are too busy with their gadgets when instead they should be moving towards enlightenment of the soul. When the highly advanced Dolphin population heard the word “Soul” for the first time they searched it on the internet and tried to order it online. When eventually they got the hang of it, they were completely swept by the idea. The ‘Soul and Peace’ concept sounded so new and original to them, that they left everything and started following the Buddha Dolphins. It became a huge sensation in the Dolphin World.

Buddha Dolphins asked “What do you get by travelling in Space?”

General fish public replied “ummm…just like that”

“What is so important in your mobile gadgets? Games? GPS location? Appointment reminders? Is all this really necessary?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“By taking the immortality syrup what are you actually doing? Only extending your ‘just-like-that’ Space travels and more appointment reminders. Isn’t it?”

“Actually…you are right.”

“Who should be immortal? Soul or Body?”

“Soul. Soul. Soul.”

“So should we die?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Should we cause Wars or should we just swim peacefully?”

“Swim. Swim. Swim.”

“Let us today decide how we choose to live now.”

“Yes, please.”

The Buddha Dolphins set out a Constitution of reformed life for all. Most of the fishes pledged to abide by the Constitution. Those who didn’t also eventually did because the Constitution was so convincing and a total brain-washer. It appeared so simple and easy that no one could resist it. It read:

“The Dolphin population, from this day, knows no Science. It frees itself from all the gadgets, rockets, love triangles, ‘just-like-that’ Space travels, Immortality Syrup and all the discoveries and inventions. Anything that is not natural is not acceptable. The Dolphin population exists just to swim, smile, eat, be eaten, play cute games with the future human population, die and let the soul live.”


They have followed their constitution to this day. Humans are hopefully headed for the same. 

PS: It's not a story. This actually happened.

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Minuscule! Videos Which Took My Life.

One fateful day, which happens to be day before yesterday, I came across some insect videos which changed my life wasted my day. An animated video was playing on Sonic Nickelodeon. It was like for some 4 minutes. I liked it but there was no name with which to identify what were those videos. Since morning I was watching all the crap on this channel, waiting for the videos. Finally it came and for a nano-second the name of the creator was shown and I forgot to notice it. Again left with no names, no clue and again waited an hour. When it came finally I could see only four letters of it and it was gone. It is a painful story how I finally got the full name and tadaaa....I have been watching these videos back to back on the Internet. It's named Minuscule. I like how the real backgrounds and animations are mixed in the videos.

My head is aching and there is a limit to which I can stare the computer screen after which I start feeling like I need to vomit. That's how I am feeling right now. Can't type anymore.......including the links below.......God! Save me......I feel like I am dying......Am I dead already!.....I see heaven......I am still typing......why does the spider look so funny in the videos?.......Why don't I study for God's sake!!!!!!!!.......I am a terrible terrible person.......Is it morning or evening?.......nothing makes sense in the world.........










P.S: If this feels stupid to you, I apologize for wasting your time. To compensate for that, watch Phineas and Ferb. If you don't like cartoons or animations, take a deep breath and forget all that happened here.

Thursday, 6 March 2014

A Part Of Life

The grass here seems to have put many efforts to contain its rich green colour. It is patchy on the ground, but inviting enough to make people sit, take some deep breaths and have a leisure time. The tree I have put my back on, is swaying noisily in the autumn winds. The air seems ornamental with the floating yellow leaves parting one after the other from the branches. All this simply makes the heart leap and pour out words of joy and happiness.

I feel the beauty of life by reading the impression of satisfaction, from the parents of two kids playing around them. I feel the innocence of life while watching this cute, pouting boy, after hearing me refuse to play in his team, as it was one person short of the other team. I feel the stability of life in the kite resting on a tree where no one could catch it and own it. I feel the motion of life in the person mowing the grass far away and laughing with his friend. I feel the curiosity of life trough the blindfolded girl, guided by her lover towards some surprise. I feel the delicacy of life in the feet of a toddler trying to walk. I feel the quiet in noisy winds, freedom in birds, warmth of the ground. I feel. I smile. And I realize that I can try endlessly to capture life in words and never succeed. Maybe it is not even desired of me. Feelings will always be meant to feel. Words cannot be powerful enough to replicate them exactly.

So, I will put aside my notebook, my pen, my inability, my excuses, and explore what is still remaining to be felt; new and unknown. I will go to that boy and ask him to take me in his team if there is still a place for me. If there is not I can become their Referee or Commentator or something like that, we will see. Because I want to be not just an observer, but a part of life.

Thursday, 9 January 2014

I DON'T Want To Be A Child Again(Continued)

....in continuation to this post.

When I got hold of Mummy's silver anklet pair, I had to try it of course. It was way too big for my ankles and slipped out again and again. So I pulled them up on my legs until they fitted on my thighs. One of those anklets suddenly came into two halves while I was adjusting it. My heart thudded in terror as I knew I would be scolded. So I did something really great! I hid the good, unbroken piece into almirah and threw the other one into the dug-up earth near my hose for laying an underground cable. For months and months Mummy kept searching it and asking everyone. And I was living in a mixture of guilt and fear. The best part is, I was 10-11 years old at that time. Old enough to understand that it was not the piece of jewelry that Mummy wanted back, but the silver that went into making it.
I definitely don't want to live back a time when I was literally brainless.

There was social studies class test the next day. I was in 2nd standard. I forgot the test as easily as I used to forget every class-test, everyday homework, my water bottles in playground, tiffin in school, sweater in school bus and every possible thing at every possible place. In class when everybody was writing answers to questions, I was shaking in fear of scoring a zero in the exam. I happened to not submit my notebook to the teacher like it would have solved the problem forever.
This happened many times day after day and my notebook ended up in a collection of pages with only questions and empty spaces for answers. With nothing I can compare the building stress as more such pages added into the notebook every other day.
One day Didi(elder sister) saw my notebook and demanded explanation for those empty spaces and I said it was my incomplete homework. Yes, I used to be a liar. I pleaded her to do my homework and she did. The ordeal was still not over. I stood in line to get my notebook checked by the teacher, silently but furiously praying that she must not turn the pages of the notebook and see my unchecked class tests.
Was that easy for a six year old girl? I wonder if I was feeling blessed at that time!

My parents used to send me to tuition against all my struggles. I showed my tuition teacher the date sheet for 2nd standard's annual exams which I had noted down in my school diary. She saw it and was confused for some reason. Then she asked me to go to Anuj's, my classmate's house and cross check the date sheet with his. I told her many times that I had written everything as-it-is from the blackboard but she just won't trust me. I was sent out to go to Anuj's house. I don't remember if I used to hate Anuj or had a crush on him, because I was too shy to go to his house. I wandered on the roads and in gardens and after some time came back and told the teacher that he had also written the same date sheet. The teacher was still confused but gave up and did not send me anywhere else.
During exams, one day when I reached school, my classmates came running on watching me and asked, "Why did you not come yesterday?". I said, "because yesterday was no exam and so it was holiday". "No, it was Hindi's exam. Ma'am was asking about you." I gulped. I had missed an exam and it was a big big deal at that time. That was why I was asked to check my date sheet as one subject was missing from it. Only I know how I passed that day and the subsequent days, and with what dread I waited for Papa to return home with my report card declaring me 'failed' on the results day.
He came home. A thousand questions were asked. Some I replied, some I dodged away with blink of eyes. Finally he told that the teacher gave me marks for Hindi according to my half-yearly exam performance.
Do I call it the golden period of my life? In 2nd class I did not know that if I have 5 subjects, I need to give an exam of all of them!

I had been a big time Dumbo and I still am. Some characteristics stick with you for lifetime, I guess. There are too many, more than too many experiences which I can keep on writing. Earlier I used to hide my mistakes, now I resort to mocking myself. My childhood was enough once. So were my teenage years and so is my present life. At any point of time I want to live only one time of my life, that is yet to come. In hopes that one day I will finally grow up, mentally, and be less embarrassed and stupid in future.

Some photographs of a KG kid's notebook.

An explanation of the Theory of Evolution. How L changes into S and S into 3.




This one is so neat. Because the kid had to draw only joining lines.


Kid's school's Drawing. Above: by teacher. Below: by student.

Explanation: These are drawings of 'A for Apple' 'B for Ball' 'C for Cat' 'D for Duck' The kid ate up E. 'F for Fish'. Kid was still hungry. 'I for Ice-cream'

I DON'T Want To Be A Child Again

This dinosaur has no relevance to the post. But it will eat people who will not read ahead and comment.
To those who say "childhood is the best part of life", or "I wish I were a kid again", or "There was no tension then and life was good", I do not relate at all. Life, at any time, is equally trying and fun. The only difference is, when we grow up we know how to put the blame somewhere else for all our problems. We have this tendency to prove the present time as the most difficult and project ourselves as a victim of circumstances. So we sum up things thinking that growing up was a cursed thing to have happened.

Now think of it; a child is a child after all. We cannot expect him/her to be stressful about submitting a report before a dangerously close deadline or to go through the pain of break up or divorce. However they have their own problems suiting their age, like a broken favorite toy or an accidentally broken Mummy's favorite vase. Five year olds face problems according to their capacity and twenty-five year olds according to their. But we seem to forget issues which we find petty now. Although they were not then.

When the whole world is writing about the awesomeness of childhood, I am called spoilsport. Though I am no different when it comes to going weak in knees watching super cuteness of kids, but I am pretty sure I don't want to step in their shoes. I have had enough of my own time playing in mud and rain. Because giving it a practical thought, a child is not enjoying his/her childhood in a way we perceive. The one who is enjoying is a person watching them, who is probably dealing with a huge debt or something like that. So even if a Jinn realized our dream to be a kid again, we would find our so called petty issues graver than our father having lost his laptop.

By now I know I always end up writing about myself sooner or later. So I am not sparing this chance either. Every theory needs to be backed by examples. So I present my childhood at service. Just a small warning before you proceed to read further. If you become uneasy or furious reading extreme level of stupidity, utter ignorance on someone's part or infinite degree of dumbness, quietly sneak away and save the peace of your mind.

Have you gone?

Okay, I give you an another chance. This post has already become quite lengthy. So I break it here and if you want to read further, click here.

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