What All Happened During My Absence

Sometime in June was my blog's birthday. I do not remember the date neither did I wish my blog. So me and my blog are not on good terms with each other. I am not going to re-read this post and check for errors. Don't complain and also don't run away.

Here is a quick view of all that happened last month. I went somewhere for my job training and some people tried to teach me about something and now I am working in some place among some people who talk about some weird, complex things which bounce off my head at some considerable height.

At the place of my training, I saw sea. I again saw sea. And again and again. And went into it too. And I am alive.

I bought a new phone a week back and have dropped it 4 times and almost lost it once.

Now I am home at least once in a day. Rest of the time I am somewhere.

 Yesterday, I cursed rain, or lack of rain, in my Whats App status and today 20 drops of water fell from the sky. I feel like the goddess of rain.

I could not read any blogs all this time so I apologize to all the bloggers who must have waited day and night for my comments. Now you will say u did not wait. See? I know everything. But believe me, u did. No further discussion on that, understood!

A few days back when I was climbing down the stairs of the office, I fell and there was a huge population laughing at me.

Today, I went for shopping. At the cash counter, the electronic display in front of me showed a zero. I sneezed, and instead of saying 'sorry' or 'excuse me', I announced 'zero'.

(As written on 14th July 2014)

Riddles

The answers to the following riddles are at the end of the post. Don't look at them before trying to solve the riddle. If you think I won't know when you cheat, then you are right. So don't cheat.

1. No one loves me
    I hangout alone
    When I am out
    everyone is gone
    People curse me
    and wish for rains
    As if I made the orbits
    and it was my mistake!


2. Light weight and stupid
    they make me and fly
    As soon as I take off
    I crash but no one dies
    Again in a different style
    ready to take another flight


3. I look like a house
    with walls and rooms
    I can be big or small
    and is cleaned with brooms


4. I cannot even ask
    'Who am I?'
    For I have no mouth
    no ears no eyes
    'something', 'anything', and 'everything'
    I hate and despise


5. She did it
    He did it
    She started
    He started
    She did it
    He did it

Answers:
1. The Sun in summers
2. A paper airplane
3. A house
4. Nothing
5. Siblings

This is what summers can do to a person. Heat and humidity make me angry and useless and I don't feel like doing anything. These riddles were written when I was on standby mode. And you approve or not, I am going to write more.

Image linked to the source.

Points To Consider Before Naming A Baby

1. Do not name him/her Jshaklmsknah(which is also my phone's bluetooth name) or an equally unpronounceable one. Because one day when he/she will be playing checklairs* with his/her friends, no one will take the risk to pronounce a 2.18 miles long name and the chaser will never run after him/her. Do you see how grave it can turn out to be for the child?
My suggestion: Look at china for inspiration. People save so much time by calling each other Chi, Ko, Li.

2. Do not name him/her Chi, Ko, Li. What? When did I suggest that, you liar!

3. The name must have a good meaning because you know how it is with everybody asking the same. Also, asking the question comes handy when you don't have anything else to say and you make weird sounds like "hmm...erm.....wellll.......soooo........uuaeeauaaeiigh......what does your name mean?" "It means Moon"
My suggestion: Go for Pooja, Rahul, Deepika Padukone and not Dinosaur, because it would mean a Dinosaur.

4. Girls have an another problem to deal with. One day out of the blue, they become "Chikni" Chameli instead of just Chameli. Visit a jyotish(astrologer) and make sure that the name is not going to turn into an item number title in future. Try predicting yourself on the basis of past data analysis. Here are some examples. Paise walo ki Pinki, jawaan Sheela, Jalebi Baai, badnaam Munni, badmaash Babli.....Please comment below if you remember any other name. I would really like to know.
My suggestion: Name her Guddi. I like the song Patakha Guddi. And I like Guddi too. :)

5. Don't go for unisex names. I know a boy Sudhanshu and a girl Sudhanshu. A boy Chintan and a girl Chintan. Confuses the person who receives their friend request and gets happy for an instant before plunging deep into depression when the expectations fall off a cliff.
My suggestion: Name her "Female" and him "Male". Simplicity always attracts.

6. Pet names are no joke. Serious business. A kid talks too much doesn't mean you could name him/her "Bas-kar". Its true, I swear on my green shirt that doesn't fit me anymore. My cousin was rescued out of being named Lilawati(my family has a traumatic sense of humour). My other cousin is pet-named Kranshu. That proves it.
My suggestion: I don't know. Just don't name him/her Mikku(personal reasons).

7. Think of 'all-countries-applicable' names. A person might want to go to a foreign country later in life. So, names which have a good transition factor will make a good choice. Harvindar becomes Harry, Samir becomes Sam, Manpreet becomes Man, Womanpreet becomes Woman, Sandeep becomes Spider Man. It doesn't? Okay.
My suggestion: Planet-relevant names will be just better. Like Jagdeep becomes Jaadu.

8. The name must have a good security shield. Like Zeenat is safer than Ankit. Having a name that starts with W, X, Y, Z can actually prove to be life-saving when the teacher starts checking the homework of class, which they generally do in alphabetical order.
My Suggestion: If you are interested in experimenting, choose the name Zyxw.

9. Pick a name that reflects the personality or some character of the person. If the child has blue eyes, name him/her "Blue Eyes". If the child swings a pendulum in your face, name him/her "Hypnotize". No, no. What makes you think I am listening 'Blue eyes'?
My suggestion: Yo Yo Honey Singh or No No Money Singh(know him here). Equally cool.

10. Do not use the name as a weapon to ward off evil from the baby. I am serious here. I know incidences where people are named Kuda(garbage). I do not know if anyone has ever been named Nimbu-Mirchi and I also don't recommend it, though it sounds appealing.
My suggestion: Be innovative and call the baby Kaala-teeka. If anyone of you just thought of doing it, then you have disappointed me by defeating the very purpose of this post and I will not talk to you. Ever.

*checklairs is a game in which a person chases another person until he/she declares name of someone else, which is when the chaser starts running after that person. Either it is no real game because Google doesn't know about it or I don't know the correct spelling.

If you liked the post, praise me. If you did not, then FYI this whole idea was inspired by a friend named Shashank. He was the person who said "My name means Moon" more appropriately Chanda Mama. He said he will kill me if I call him Chanda Mama, so if I am found dead tomorrow, he goes to jail.

Mother

I am angry with you Mother

For letting me trouble you

all these years

since my birth and even before

Why would you stand at the door

waiting for me to come home?

Every minute's delay weighing heavy on your heart.

That, when I have a jolly good time

laughing with a friend

or listening melodies while I travel.

It makes me guilty later,

and angry.

You laugh it off

when I complain.

I am surprised at you Mother

How you hold for everyone

concern and more concern?

From where did you learn

to love your children with such magnitude?

What is it that makes this bond heavenly?

And at the same time

keeps you on your guard and restless always?

How?

How can all this come naturally to you?

What is it that I don't understand

and you cannot explain?

You are a mystery Mother

how grave, you don't even know.

You don't care to know

like I do, in vain.

I scold you Mother

When I work all night

on some college project

and you keep coming in my room

inventing petty excuses

and timidly ask me

"How much more work is left?"

Let me deal with at least something

all on my own Mother.

Why would you not sleep

just because I have not?

Still you wake up the earliest

to make breakfast for your girl.

Why so selfless?

You make me afraid Mother

When I will go away,

soon enough,

I would not know how to live

without you.

Still you will make me

angry, surprised and scold you

for worrying over me more than myself.

If being a mother is to be like you,

I am scared of the future.

You have set standards too high,

unreachable, impossible.

I have no clue

how to love like you love

how to care like you care.

I am disillusioned Mother.

The mystery you hold in your soul,

the unpronounceable answers

you will take away with you

one day.

Solitude will be mine.

I am afraid to admit

I do think about and dread the life after.

Your Home

In one covert corner of my heart,

my friend, your memories breathe faintly.

I have handpicked your simplest gestures

and locked thousands of intangible souvenirs

in one precious, inaccessible box.

Since we have parted ways,

acquiescing in unfamiliar confusions,

that corner in my heart pains

most of the time.

And when it doesn't,

I open the box.

And little by little, live with you,

smile with you until truth stands bare before me.

When reality strikes hard,

it tears my happiness into shreds.

But I do not complain

because, you know,

for some reason, when it hurts the worst

I secretly find solace.

It soothes that place in my heart, your home.

For some reason, I adamantly keep thinking about you,

touching and pressing my wounds on purpose,

conceding myself to sorrow.

For some reason, I want my eyes to keep pouring

in your remembrance.

For some reason, I know,

somewhere you feel the same

you do the same.

P.S- My sister sketched the above picture for me. :)