THE GULABJAMUN THEORY

Here I will be telling you about some situations, facts, dilemmas and treachery that revolves around a bowl full of Gulabjamuns lying unawares in a kitchen.

1. More are the number of Gulabjamuns in the bowl, lesser is the attention they attract on disappearance of a few of them.
2. More are the number of family members in your house, easier it is to gulp down a couple of Gulabjamuns on every visit to the kitchen. Doubt of thievery will be equally shared among all the members.
3. Out of the dough your mother has prepared for making Gulabjamuns, if you have made atleast one dough ball, you can officially claim having made the whole thing single handed.
4. It is always worth waking up till late in the night as long as Gulabjamuns are still not extinct. You will have many days to sleep on time.
5. Always eat the biggest and most heavenly looking Gulabjamun first. Saving it for later means losing it in the hands of another drooling human.
6. Greed for a Gulabjamun is not greed. It is need. Bare insatiable necessity.
7. A bowl of Gulabjamun is an open challenge of rivalry. Do not give in to compassionate emotions at anyone’s plight or to any puppy faces.
8. Every good thing in the world comes to an end. Never get too attached with the savoury flavours. Else you are headed to despair with the speed proportionate to your craving for Gulabjamuns.
9. Don’t be too detached with them either. It is illegal.
10. The last Gulabjamun in the bowl is most delicious of all. Be prepared with hockey sticks, swords, frying pans, anything readily available, to eliminate competition.

PS: In the loving memory of all those Gulabjamuns that were not eaten by me!

FIVE CONTINENTS

I found a beautiful notebook in Flynn’s closet one day. I knew I should not open it before asking him, so I opened it. It was empty. Nothing triggers creativity better than a notebook with coffee coloured hardbound cover, empty off-white pages, mysteriously found lying in a forgotten mess of things, and absence of husband from the house. But then I remembered the collection of all the empty notebooks and diaries I have back at my other home. I might hurt their feelings if I ditch them for this new one. Also I must take permission from my Husband before owning his things.

When Flynn was back from the office, I asked him the question. He told me that the notebook was my gift to him. So I asked him if I can take back a book also that I gifted him. He said why not! He is neither into reading books nor fond of lucrative stationery. He must be clueless why he was gifted with these things in the first place.

Later in the night, in a dream, me and my sister were having a conversation on why did I stop writing? During the discussion one of us said the words “Five continents”. Both of us stopped suddenly and looked at each other having the same thing in mind.

“Five Continents.”

“Yes, Five Continents.”

“Didi, Why don’t you write something about Five Continents?” Said my sister.

“Exactly!”

My thoughts were already running too fast and within seconds I had so much to write about Five Continents that I feared forgetting some important points if I don’t write them down immediately.

“Isn’t it surprising that I never thought of writing about such an interesting topic before?” I wondered. “It has to go on my Blog, I promised myself.”

Usually I forget all my dreams these days. But something about the Five Continents followed me till the morning. I could not recollect a single important fact that I had promised myself to write, but a promise is a promise. So let us read an excerpt from the meeting of Continents.

Scene: Around the table for half yearly Board Meeting.

East America- “I have got a major issue to report. My brother West is missing. During my last communication with him, he was worried over some of his parts disappearing. And now he is all gone. He is not even hiding in his favourite spot Bermuda. Help me get my brother back. Please.”

Euroctic- “My God! I have a similar concern. My Aunt’s Mother’s Nephew’s Wife-in-law Aisica is also missing!”

Antralia- “Last week I got a call from my secret sources and they have confirmed the information that one of us is selling the continents to Goons of The Universe. With two of us already missing, we must find out who the traitor is before the same fate lies for us. If we don’t hurry up, this could be the end of world.”

Afractica: “Goons of the Universe! I have heard horrific stories of them.”

Arcope: “Guys stop! I am sorry. But nobody told me that we were not supposed to eat a continent when hungry.”

PS: Gift your husband anything that you want to buy for yourself but is unnecessary.

PPS: Take it back after a few months for the reason that he doesn’t want it.