THE END OF NETFLIX

It was the time when there existed numerous social media platforms in the market. Applications had to come up with new feature updates frequently to survive the competition. There was an application for everything you could think of. Shopping, gaming, dating, beauty, learning, eating, fitness, medicine, travelling, you name it. People were developing obsessions with their mobile phones. New medical conditions were popping out of nowhere and diagnosis read like “Unable to stay away from the mobile phone”. Kids were Blue-Whaling themselves. Teens were living their lives on Tik-Toks. Youngsters were taking major decisions- ‘to swipe right or left?’. Media was collecting viral videos for ‘Breaking News’ segment.

Among all these technological sensations, there lived an outdated, confused girl. She did not update any applications, afraid that she would no longer be able to understand the changes. She lagged behind in getting accustomed to internet thingies.  Before she could make up her mind to check what is Orkut (and how to eat it?), the platform was outdated. Public was getting bored of Facebook when she finally signed up. Twitter decided to not co-operate with such a technically low profile girl the only time she tried to understand it. Instagram was getting installed and uninstalled from her phone at annual gaps without being used ever. Any applications with whom she was on cordial terms with were still unused because she was unsocial to such extremes that she became defensive even at the sight of app notifications. Notifications scared her and were always kept turned off for all the applications.

Despite all difficulties, things were manageable so far. But then came NETFLIX. The Demon rose to popularity very fast. So far she was only struggling with her dumb mind and inability to cope up with social media. What other people did with the internet was not her problem, and vice versa. But not anymore. Netflix was not just an application. It came into this world with a purpose, with a huge ego, and with an unquenchable thirst for attention. Soon it became a sin to not devote some part of your daily schedule to Netflix. Every person she came in contact with was suddenly convincing her to watch some 'super-awesome' thing on the application.

“But I am genuinely not interested”

“That’s Okay. But you must watch ‘Bla-Bla’ on Netflix.”

“I said I don’t like watching series.”

“But each episode is only 25000 minutes long.”

“I would prefer doing something else in those 25000 minutes.”

“But this one is really good. You will thank me later for the suggestion.”

“I said I am not interested. Please..”

“Here , have my Login ID and Password. There are only 20 seasons of ‘Bla-Bla’. Make your weekends productive. You are welcome. ”

“Where is my Gun!!”

The Girl finally declared an open War on Netflix. The application did not give up either. There was a lot of bloodshed and loss of lives. Nuclear weapons got involved. Unfair means were adopted. It became dirty like hell. But one night, it all ended. The girl was under such fury against the application that the war ended with the end of Netflix and also the whole population of Earth.

P.S: Yes, this is a serious and final warning to all!

RAISINS

Don’t tell me everyone knows that raisins are nothing but dried grapes.

Few days back me and my mother were in the kitchen and casually she mentioned that she saw raisins of black grapes in the nearby Mart. Usually I ignore things I don’t understand. But I accidentally paid attention to this sentence. Then my neurons worked fervently and decoded the series of puzzles that formed in my brain. Realization dawned upon me. Before I could hesitate to ask “Are raisins made from grapes?”

My mother felt a little ashamed of me I know. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know that.”

She couldn’t even make fun of me.

But my colleagues did. I had to confirm that I was not the only one to not know this. Turns out I was. My fellow ladies at the office asked me counter question to assess my IQ. They asked me about life cycle of all the dry fruits and other things. They were like “Do you have any idea what you have been eating all these years?” All I know is that it is food. Their surprise sounded more like “Do you even know the last name of your Best Friend?”

The incident was however unsettling to me. I invested a lot of time to get to the root of the problem. As a part of it, I conducted a survey, asking people if they know the original form of raisins? What was shocking to know was that my younger sister knew the answer. We have grown up in the same house. I have inhabited this universe three years more than her. Where was I when she was getting this piece of knowledge?

The best thing about your friends is that they get defensive for you even when you have already proven your stupidity. When I asked the question to my Best friend (About grapes, not her last name. Just for the record, I know her last name.) and told her what happened, she said “You should have asked me first and saved yourself the embarrassment”. Then she gave me ideas for taking revenge on my colleagues. “Ask them if Pineapple grows on trees?” “Ask them all the species of dinosaurs that existed. But only after learning them yourself first.”

Why is it that I never wondered where do raisins come from? Leave raisins, I never even wondered where do babies come from. Every person seems to have thought of it atleast once when they were kids. My four year old niece has already come up with her own theories about babies (people go to babies and ask them ‘Would you like to be our baby?’) And here I am. Raisins may be just one of the thousand things I never thought about. And I am sure if I had ever tried to think how raisins are made, it is such a simple deduction. The problem is I never thought.  Do I ever wonder about anything at all? Until I am confronted with such facts, for me, raisins just are. They exist. Babies are. Somehow. And everything answers itself automatically one day. And so I continue being awesome.

P.S.: I had grapes today.