Sunday, 12 November 2017

THE DOLPHIN THEORY

Once upon a time Dolphins ruled the world. This was long before the evolution of humans. Dolphins were the most intelligent animal. They had their own territories and knew many languages. They traveled across the water countries, went to Space for picnics, invented high tech automobiles, and studied the whole Universe. They were technologically so advanced that every manual work was replaced by gadgets. Moreover they got so ahead in Medical Science that when earlier they could cure all known and unknown diseases, later they found the formula of Immortality and stopped dying natural deaths. Overall, Dolphins were just so awesome at that time. But then the unexpected problems started, maybe because there has to be a way to cause deaths of Dolphins. So the Wars, Terrorism, Space accidents, and suicides because of love and breakups started.

Just in the middle of all this some Buddha Dolphins evolved. They had vision and they knew that the world is moving in the wrong direction. This technical advancement, Nuclear Weaponry, totally mind-blowing Space cars are all just a facade. The whole population has been disillusioned and has got their priorities in the wrong order. They are too busy with their gadgets when instead they should be moving towards enlightenment of the soul. When the highly advanced Dolphin population heard the word “Soul” for the first time they searched it on the internet and tried to order it online. When eventually they got the hang of it, they were completely swept by the idea. The ‘Soul and Peace’ concept sounded so new and original to them, that they left everything and started following the Buddha Dolphins. It became a huge sensation in the Dolphin World.

Buddha Dolphins asked “What do you get by travelling in Space?”

General fish public replied “ummm…just like that”

“What is so important in your mobile gadgets? Games? GPS location? Appointment reminders? Is all this really necessary?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“By taking the immortality syrup what are you actually doing? Only extending your ‘just-like-that’ Space travels and more appointment reminders. Isn’t it?”

“Actually…you are right.”

“Who should be immortal? Soul or Body?”

“Soul. Soul. Soul.”

“So should we die?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Should we cause Wars or should we just swim peacefully?”

“Swim. Swim. Swim.”

“Let us today decide how we choose to live now.”

“Yes, please.”

The Buddha Dolphins set out a Constitution of reformed life for all. Most of the fishes pledged to abide by the Constitution. Those who didn’t also eventually did because the Constitution was so convincing and a total brain-washer. It appeared so simple and easy that no one could resist it. It read:

“The Dolphin population, from this day, knows no Science. It frees itself from all the gadgets, rockets, love triangles, ‘just-like-that’ Space travels, Immortality Syrup and all the discoveries and inventions. Anything that is not natural is not acceptable. The Dolphin population exists just to swim, smile, eat, be eaten, play cute games with the future human population, die and let the soul live.”


They have followed their constitution to this day. Humans are hopefully headed for the same. 

PS: It's not a story. This actually happened.

Thursday, 17 December 2015

10 Reasons For Delayed Posts

Hey Blog! It's been a long time we met. If you are wondering why, here are a few excuses I have to fool you with.

1. Empty mind, Devil's workshop. But My mind's devil has been leading a very poor life in a very dilapidated workshop since I have been working and trying to understand the art of having three simultaneous contrasting mouths. This leaves a very little useful vacuum in my head to utilize.

2. While driving to office, I blurt out all the nonsense that cooks up in my brain. It gives me the needed concentration while driving, but what should have otherwise been written in my notebook, evaporates in the air with my words.

3. My basic need of survival is to waste a certain amount of day's time being lazy. With a job that consumes most of it, I am somehow just managing the wastage of time. There's no time to pick a pen.

4. At office, by the evening I turn into an extinct volcano. A 90 years aged lady. ''Will anyone come and help me blink?"

5. Every time I pull up myself to write something, my pencil is lost or my notebook is lost. And with a different pencil or a different notebook or when typing on phone or laptop, I can only write a completely disillusioned post which looks like this
"Who is this Pencil?
What am I?
Why is Earth a cube?
How did I die?"

6. After hours of investigating the home, if I collect all materials to write, my mind is boiling at high temperatures with anger and burns away all my imagination and highly inflammable ideas.

7. I want to kill the office boy. I don't write so that I don't disclose this intention even by mistake because when I start writing, I loose all self control. Did I just do that?

8. I am depressed with the pattern on the new curtains my mother has bought. That's why....yes, that's why....

9. I am afraid of getting married. This keeps me disturbed all the time. I am having deadly nightmares of my wedding.



10. When I am not writing, I am drawing. Here are some drawings and I love bragging about them.
















Sunday, 12 April 2015

The purpose of studies: Finally Revealed!



We have always questioned the usefulness of school and college courses, de-carboxylation reactions, the integrations and diffrentiations and kinetics and DNA to RNA transcriptions and all those things I forgot as soon as I left the exam hall. But people...wait before you load your guns of criticism and go firing all around. Here is a post that will change your perspective. But I request you to not feel too guilty about all the curses you threw at your study courses during school after reading this post. I know my posts have an international impact but please, this time I would want the readers to keep a low profile and avoid riots. Okay readers?
......hello?
.....readers?
...........Anyone there?
..........umm...I will just get started.


1. You get to smell the awesome scent of the pages of a newly purchased NCERT book. I specialized so much in identifying smells that I can tell a workbook from main course book just with my nose.

2. When your parents wanted you to come with them to that Aunt's house who always took an unnatural interest in your future and career, how sincerely you said that you very badly needed to study and improve upon your Physics. You life was saved a little.

3. Studies make your life hell. It raises the difficulty level of your life, teaches you to face challenges and ultimately prepares you for death.
If you think it's a negative point, try to take it positively.

4. Studies make you optimistic too. Although you attended just two and a half question in the exam, you still dare to think you will pass because thinking otherwise will only prepone the trial.

5. As long as you have course books in your life, you cannot suffer from insomnia.

6. You are loaded a great deal and that is the reason that you learn to find happiness in the smallest of things like a teacher on leave.

7. Remember when you were in your teen years? You were dangerous, jumping off the compound walls of school, pulling the tail of that limp dog, looting the candies of the Birthday kid from class 2. Only one thing could make you helpless- the subject you hated. So in a way studies kept you under control when you were of the most monstrous tendencies.

P.S:- Imagine that three more points were read. I don't want to break the uniformity of ten points. :)

Sunday, 7 December 2014

An Enlightening Conversation

Since I am bored and I don't care about anything anymore and I miss posting on my blog and because some conversations make no sense and because I am practicing to be evil, I am posting a random conversation I had on chat with I don't know who, without tempering with any word, spelling or grammar..

A Human: Hii ...I think we met on fb is it right???
Me: Sorry...who is this?
Human: This is ching chang pow gro shink ku.....now u know???
Me: Yes. U r Parineeti Chopra from hasse to phasse.
Human: U know rajnikant from robot???? he is also karate champion. thnku so much....and.i think u know rajnikant from robot..in this movie he is robotic person... By the way in last exam why r u scared when sawing me in next bench?
Me: Y telling me about rajnikant? Which xam? N y don't u tell me who r u?
Human: This is like a exam question...sorry i am fail.
Me:What?
Human: I dont know the answer of your questio.
Me: U dont know your name???
Human: I have less memory...but u can check my profile.
Me: U have no profile pic. Anyway bye.
Human: Than wait..u got surpriced...
            .
            .
            .
            .
             Ok...Good night...bye.

Everything is About You



While I muse over the day
It's unsettling, unfair
That you matter more than you should
I would if I could
Ignore you straight away

There were things I laughed about
Worked, ate, chattered, hung out
It all drifts away when I reach home
Now as I sit alone
All I remember is when you were too loud

Why you talk to me like that?
And be so nice to everybody else
If only you knew how it hurts
If you knew how it haunts
You would have shown some concern at least

At the end of the day I cry
Feeling helpless, useless, thinking why?
That one grimace you made
That one smile you did not reflect
And reasoning with your every rude reply

Your words are swords
Are heavy big rocks
Cause they tear away my smile
Crush my heart, are immobile
Swirl in my mind, building up cyclones

You tick-tock in my mind
A building up clangour with time
Your memories stubborn
Unavoidable trouble
Still you are first, foremost, important, prime.
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